Thursday, April 11, 2013

Krizko visits California! and Very Personal post about relationships and life~ (150+ PICTURES) Part 1/2


This is probably going to be one of the longest posts I'll ever have on this blog. It's about 2 weeks worth of pictures from my California trip! But I warn you, it's extremely detailed and wordy.  It's more for my own personal enjoyment because I've always wanted to break it down and go through thought memories such as this. I don't want to lose the "freshness" of it in my head. I also like to add a few personal touches to this blog because I don't want readers like you to feel the vibes of this coming off as too commercial or vain. I treat this like a journal. I've been sharing my personal experiences for years on Blogger, and feel comfortable with sharing these things in hopes that someone can be inspired. Even though this will open doors for others to judge me, I don't mind because it's worth it. It just feels right to me. I hope that people read my posts and somewhat feel relate-able or maybe even closer to me. Otherwise, I'm very happy with how I run it.

Also, There are some other matters that I want to bring up regarding my current relationship and life in general. I've been receiving many curious and uneducated anons leaving me messages in my inbox about it. The majority are negative or rude comments. I've tried ignoring it for awhile, but the more public I became about my new-found relationship, the more messages I'd get. And it's become annoying. I feel that the more my relationship progresses the more drama that will increase if I keep quiet. ( And yes, I am well aware that posting this alone will bring attention as well, but I'd rather have all the facts and information solidified here to avoid anymore crazy assumptions.)  But I guess I understand since those who have no clue as to what happened, are now  seeing all these new surprises in my life.
But it's not nice to assume things, you know. Here are a few:


lololol. *self consciously examines my own ears*
I'm writing this in hopes to clear this up, and to get it off my chest. For me too!~ I really wanted to stay quiet about this but it's really hard when a huge fraction of my followers looked up to and strongly supported my past relationship. We were very showy and public about it, so I guess it has it's cons if things don't work out. Everybody seems to be confused and curious and this will be the first and last time I'll ever speak about this. Any questions relating to this will be forwarded to this blogpost. And here it goes.

Let's just say that my last relationship ended because he was getting cold feet about committing. He left me to focus on his career. I tried to persuade him that we could still do it while being in a relationship; I begged him to stay with me. But he still stood by his choice.  He wanted to be in a relationship where we could still keep contact and keep each other updated with life, and "go with whatever happens." Which is pretty much like a break, where you could see other people, and I did not want that. It made me angry, and it made me hate him. And that was it. We just simply were not on the same page anymore and our life values with how we wanted to balance a relationship and our career were different. There are other details but this is the cold way of saying it. He's not the "bad guy" as I was never a perfect girlfriend either. It just didn't work out and that's it. I moved on with my life, and never looked back. And that's how it'll stay.  Have an open mind that the details I leave out are things that make me feel so strongly about keeping it this way.
The end.
...


It's really funny how feelings can change so dramatically in a short period of time. That people, including myself, change in a way that can shift your life into a completely different path or mindset. 
I know there will be people who will look down on me for this, and that's okay. But for those who understand that sometimes shit does happen, thanks.
Despite all the negative feedback, I still have followers who will be happy for me no matter what. 
Thank you.
 I am very thankful to have  loyal viewers who support me through everything I do.  The ones who have watched me from day one, and through all the times I've risen and fallen, I appreciate it so much. I may not reply to all of your kind messages and comments, but I promise you that no word ever goes unread, and sometimes I even go back to re-read them when I'm down! You guys play a huge role in the reason why I love blogging and sharing my life online, I will keep you close in my heart forever.<3 I love you all!. :3


anyway,

The text below is a huge explanation of why I visited California in the first place! ~

After this downfall, I became very numb and empty again. It was a constant battle between me letting myself melt back into a familiar puddle of sadness, or whether I should stop feeling sorry for myself; and keep pushing forward. I kept trying to tell myself I deserved to be happier. I would rise and fall in a continuous routine and it felt like things were never going to change. Life wasn't very exciting, I wasn't feeling suicidal or anything of that sort. Not really depressed either. I could smile and laugh with friends but there was no "sparkle" in my life. I was bored and un motivated. And that's pretty much like being dead in the inside.
It's a drag.
Even an anon could see right through it.~

A few weeks after my last relationship ended, I became very stressed and my mind was going through a large amount of emotion and confusion. It wasn't because it ended that I felt these things, it was more of watching myself become numb and empty again.  I've fought for so long and hard (lolololol) to never have this numb part of me take over my life again like it has in the past. And if you're a regular reader of my past blogs, you'll know what I mean.

Then one afternoon the vision in my left eye slowly closed up in total darkness as if there were curtains surrounding the circumference of it. And as that happened, the whole right side of my entire body began to convulse/shake and I fell over. Not really knowing what just happened, I googled (lol) my symptoms and everyone pretty much said to call 911 because it may have been a mini stroke, and that they are followed by major strokes.
I have never, ever, ever, ever, EVER felt this feeling of panic before. It was insane and I could feel my heart pumping out of my chest as I called for help. I could not believe this was happening to me as  I am a generally healthy person,
*shoves empty "Loaded Bacon and Cheddar" potato chip bag under bed *
btw this is the exact bag ive been snacking on-I LOVE CHEESY CHIPS

...
and to know that there was a possibility of losing my life, and that it was out of my control; I have never been so afraid in this way before. Unless you've experienced a life-threatening event like this I don't think you'll ever understand the level of how scary this can be. The doctor pretty much examined me and said I looked fine. We did a lot of checkups and scans for my heart and brain too and everything looked fine in the end.

[some photos below at my heart scan appointment!]




[~*~*~* SIDE STORY~*~*~*~
i was in this small curtain room this whole time getting so anxious because i wasnt sure whether i not i was supposed to come out when i was done putting on the robe LOL i was in here for like 20 minutes until there was this really long awkward silence after she caught me peeking through, so she was like:" so... You can come out anytime you're ready *giggles*  I came out and she told me I was wearing the robe backwards. LOL. I was wearing the opening of it on my back. She was so nice and sweet i wanted to hug her and I felt like we bonded after having her rub gel on my chest for half an hour.. How romantic. ]

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE DRAMATIC STORY-
The doctor pretty much said to call him if anything weird happens again, and that was it. At first I was very skeptical and nervous about it, because I felt like something needed to be fixed after what happened. Of course, I was very happy that everything looked fine in the test results- but to only rely on a " JUST CALL ME IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN BRO " was really unsettling. Time passed, and everything is still okay. I'm happy and healthy, and thankful for it.
Sorry about all the little side jokes, it was a serious matter, I was just trying to shine some light, and I'll be adding some comic relief or related photos/gifs to my texts posts so they don't seem so serious or boring.
heh.
Anyway~
Okay this is where it gets ~deep.~ After this life threatening experience, it made me realize how precious the time you have left living is. I know that sounds so corny. But you never really know when you go,(I should be a rapper)  but I think one of the main things that's scary about death is not being ready for it. I think that's one of the huge reasons why I find old people so interesting. I observe them in awe and realize how calm, humble, or content most of them seem about life. That they've accepted death and what impact they've made in the world. They are beautiful people.
*thumbs up*
Or how in a lot of suicide cases, they find out that those who try to take their own lives- how a lot of them has even tried to change their decision in the midst of it. But sadly fail, and leave anyway. I've always thought about what was going through their head when they finally realized,that at that very moment,
they want to be alive.


Please think of them whenever you feel like you want to give up. **I know not everyone reading this is going through a dark time, so if you're feeling pretty happy, then that is wonderful. You don't need to read the paragraph in serious font below.**

 Whatever it is you're going through, please remember as long as you're alive you have the chance to seek help and change your life for the better. If you're sitting here reading this, you have a purpose in life and you deserve to be here. Your mind is a very, very strong monster that can later eat you if you keep feeding it negative things. I like to think of it in this way. And I think it's the very reason why I've been a much happier person. (Among other things)  It's the same way with only thinking"ugly" thoughts.

Think only positive thoughts, and you will become it. Don't be a slave to your emotions.

When I thought I was going to die, one of the main thoughts that ran in my head was how regretful I was for all the time I wasted moping around being sad. All the time in my life that I spent destroying myself, and sulking in my own pain.  And how desperate I wanted to change my life around and reach that happy self goal but then realizing the possibility of me dying right there and then, and never reaching it in the end.
IT WAS TERRIFYING.
And because I went through this, I have been way more thankful for life. I am much more positive for myself. I wanted to  stop being so wimpy, and take chances. And just pursuit whatever I feel makes me happy.

~~~~~~~~
I stopped pushing people away and allowed myself to get closer with friends again. One of them was Trav! (A friend of my best friend.) We used to talk casually as acquaintances in the past but it was only after I set my single self free (lul) that we started talking more often. It led from facebook messages, to skype, and then we ended up playing hours of a game called "Terraria" together. (sometimes with the best friend too!<3)

~*~*~*Aw, how romantic. He brought  a heart sculpture to my home.~*~*~*~

We wanted to get to know each other better so he brought up the idea of me visiting him. The past me would have never agreed so quickly as I am usually very protective over my ~*heart~* But since I was in this yolo (you only live once lululul) mindset, I chose to take the chance and go with it.
And I've never been happier with that decision.
As scared as I was, I felt that my body and mind needed this vacation away from home to open up my eyes further to what life has to offer. I sorta feel like this stroke scare thing was my brains way of saying: "I'm tired and can't handle your thoughts. Please
give me a break. "
It needed some fresh air, and some spark, and what else would be better than visiting a boy you like in a place you've never been before?!
It seemed perfect. And it was!~
 I have never traveled alone so it was a very scary experience for someone like me who hardly leaves her room to socialize. I over think myself into complete nervousness and it makes me lose common sense sometimes..

I was afraid of getting lost. Heh. But in the end I made it through security and found myself in the L.A. airport with all limbs attached.

I WAS SO SO SO SO SO SO NERVOUS.
I HID IN THE BATHROOM FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES TRYING TO CALM DOWN LOLOLOLOL. AND WHEN I GET NERVOUS I NEED TO POOP SO IT WAS A PERFECT PLACE TO GO.
*i hidez*
I finally gave in, and headed towards the spot we were suppose to meet. I was trying to be sneaky so I hid behind people and pillars as I headed towards the location.  BUT THERE HE WAS WAS HIDING ABOVE THE ESCALATORS LIKE A HAWK. AND I SAW HIM AND HE SAW ME AND I YELPED AND RAN BEHIND A PILLAR AND RAN TOWARDS THE DOOR BUT STOPPED IN FEAR THAT SOME STRANGER WAS GOING TO KIDNAP ME AND SO I LITERALLY WALKED IN A DERPY LITTLE CIRCLE WITH MY DERPY MINI LUGGAGE AND LOOKED UP TO HIM AS HE CAME DOWN THE ESCALATOR IN A SLOW PACE LIKE AN~*~*~ANGEL~*~*~* FLOATING MAJESTICALLY DOWN FROM HEAVEN.
...

lmao.

Anyways we hugged and he helped me carry my luggage and in my head I was like: "OOoOoooooh strong muscle boy hehehehehe *giggles in head* "  or "OMG HE SO CUTE AND TALL I WANT TO JUMP ON HIS BACK BUT ITS TOO SOON WE JUST MET" And on the outside I was in complete shock of what I was doing and realizing that I was really in California. I have never been to a city place like this before as I am from the little island of Maui! We don't have many tall buildings here, nor do we have freeways and heavy traffic. Which was why I freaked out more as we drove away from the airport.. THERE WERE SO MANY CARS AND LIGHTS!!!!!!!! Everything was a huge culture shock to me, all the long roads and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Before heading home we stopped by at In and Out! I always hear about it on tumblr so I was really excited. Nervously making sure I eat without looking like a ravage hyena, ( I was hungry and usually a very messy eater)

we just watched each other eat our scrumptious lil burgers and talked a bit. I finally started to calm down, especially since I got a yummy milkshake!



The next day was Valentines Day! ^____^
We went walking around the mall and stopped by a colorful candy store! This Harry Potter portrait is made entirely out of jellybeans!!


Then, within the candy store was another "Yucky" candy shop. lol @ this light-up vomit sign.


You could dispense candy out of toilets hehehehe.
I forgot what the name of this mall was but it had two large elephant sculptures...
*EDIT* I was just notified that it is called "Hollywood and Highland Center" lul

Note: I was FREEZING in these pictures LOL.  I have never experienced weather  as cold as this.. I'm from warm Hawaii!  But look how pretty and glowy the mall was!*__*
 I had to force a smile because I was sooooooo cold. hehehehehe. *hides awkward face*



The little cutie pie above is  Squishy! He is a great cuddle buddy, loves socks, dancing, and eating fruits and veggies!  ISN'T HE ADORABLE?! (Half Pomeranian half Chihuahua)
Why hello! Welcome to my office. Kidding! This is pretty much where we hung out at the end of the day. Simple yet comfortable. I miss this. Even though  we didn't talk much, sitting next to each other while we frolicked the internet world was definitely comforting. I don't think I'd ever get tired of this.<3~

We juiced alot of fruits for mornings! It was my first time trying a juicer and it is unbelievably tasty.~ My favorite was the pineapple mango... only because it was really sweet.. LOL!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~The mall and Santa Monica Pier~

Trav got this smoked barbecue rib plate with macaroni & cheese and a side of collard greenz..
And I just got some asian food (I haven't had rice in awhile lolol)
Icecream trashcan... Come to think of it now.. this is sort of gross having my mouth wide open at an opening of a trash can..  . .. . .. .  LOL! delicious.
Watched a few street performers for awhile.~
We hurried to the pier in hopes to catch the sunset! We got there just in time. ^__^
derp

The two of us sitting on the beach ^
LOLOLLOLOOLOLOOLLOL   jkjk it was just some random couple.
Fiddling with my lens cap, after getting a small lesson about camera exposure from trav~
Pacific Park! I didn't realize that was an octopus until I looked at the photos lolol.
The lights were so ambient , whoever planned the color scheme is awesome. Painting things blue and using fuchsia hot pink lights to glow from beneath it.. So together the colors blend into a blue-purple-pink sort of magical blend. I found the colors inspiring so I had to take a pic! I'll use this color scheme on some digital art I'm working on!~
We played  a lot of games at the carnival's arcade! The game above had a "Wizard of Oz" theme, where you pretty much shoot out tokens... We spent so much money on this because it seemed so promising... But we ended up getting like 2-3 of those plastic chips which I later kept as a souvenir.. LOLOL. It was really packed in there and the prizes weren't that great so I gave away my tickets to a kid who previously helped me out with a derpy machine.
~*~* good karma~*~*

There were a lot of those  tricky tent games, and Trav won me a panda with his first try! daw<3
Whenever I see little nooks or small narrow places I always have the urge of sitting in it or trying to fit myself snugly into the space.  I'm not very sure why I like doing this but I think it's because I feel it gives me a huge feeling of security i lub it.
i lub it a lot.

I cry ~* happy tears~*~

 so i was trying to climb this boat thing that was right across the dragon... but then I later found out it had stairs to walk into.. derp.
AND THEN... I found this mysterious metal button in there.. so I obviously pressed it and PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH a huge spitting mist of water came out of the dragons nostrils!!! LOL. I was so pleased with my discovery. It was cool. Krizko was impressed.

Soon after, we walked down the beach ~*~*~*~ how romantic~*~*~*  and swung on swings under the stars, ~* AWWWW~*
But with all seriousness, those 20 minutes of swinging was a big SIGH moment for me. I remembered being so worried about this trip going wrong, or the whole thing being a bad decision.. Or how scared  I was about coming out here alone, or not "connecting" with trav as much as I hoped I would. But as my fingers gripped the cold steel links while the frigid air blasted my warm grinning cheeks- any ounce of worry just seemed so silly to me.  While I kicked the sand to launch myself higher, I found myself face to face with the sky, and every time we met I would take a breath of air and exhaled all the silly little worries and insecurities as I swung backwards. It was refreshing.


Then we walked back on the side walk where Trav had the sudden idea to go "running" really fast, so I did and ran after him, AND THEN  SUDDENLY IT FELT LIKE GRAVITY SHIFTED AND THE PRESSURE ON MY HEELS WERE NO LONGER THERE SO MY BRAIN WAS CONFUSED BECAUSE IT WAS EXPECTING TO CARRY ALL OF MY WEIGHT AT MY FEET BUT NOPE NOPE NOPE INSTEAD MY LEGS WIGGLED AND MY BACK HUNCHED AND MY BODY JUST DERPED AND ALL OF THIS HAPPENED IN A MERE 3 SECONDS UNTIL I REALIZED
he made me run on this weird ground area made for people who do yoga.. It was really soft and somewhat bouncy but yeah we just laughed about it. That was really, really funny. He's funny in one of the most funniest way I've never had with another person before. And I like that about him. I like it alot. <3



Universal Studios











look at me im a ~*~*~*superstar~*~*~

We stopped by a cafe for some hot cocoa~ I love pretty food.

Watched a live water show! The actors were great, and so was the super detailed setting! You could sit in "safe zones" where you won't be splashed with water.  (which we obviously sat in because I didn't want to get our cameras wet!) You could feel mist and heat from explosions, it was really cool.

The Simpsons "Krusty Land" ride was my very first ride ever at a theme park and I'm happy it was with him!~<3 AND LOL AT UNHAPPY ASIAN DUDE.
*zooms in*

LOOOOL
This is how the inside looked like when  you wait in line~
BUMBLEBEE
BEETLE JUICE BEETLE JUICE BEETLE JUICE
JUST JACKHAMMERING THE ROAD~
I rode the mummy returns ride and IT WAS MY FIRST EVER RIDE CLOSEST TO A ROLLERCOASTER AND I ALMOST CRIED LOL. ALL I REMEMBER WAS ME YELLING " I HATE YOUUUUUuuUUuuUuUu" TO TRAV AS THE RIDE PROGRESSED LOL.
He was fan-boying over this back to the future car... what a nerd.
jkjk
THAT WAS FUN *thumbs up*

Wasabi Sushi


~~~~~~~~~
Then he took me out for a candy buffet!! I got a chinese takeout-like box and could fill it up as much as I wanted, IT WAS A SWEET TOOTH DREAM COME TRUE~~~ THANK YOU BB<3
After being a little hyper off candy, I got a little too excited with all the  colorful lights outside!
We later had some taco bell too eheheheheh
There was also an arcade at the end of this path! We played for a good hour, and got more candy with our tickets...  LOL. Btw, there was alot of evil games in there......
Watch this video and you'll see why.... D:


On our way home we stopped by a lookout! ~*~*~*DAWWWWWW~*~*~*~


Squishy eats a tampon


The pictures below is the next morning where squishy ran up to me with a bunch of mysterious cotton in his mouth! I ran to the room and found the remaining murder scene of my UNUSED tampon.. I guess he found it in my purse lolol... BUT THIS WAS SO ADORABLE BECAUSE HE FELT SO GUILTY. AW.
* squishy jail*



Frootsii's Cupcakes


I had my first boba here, and these cupcakes were the best cupcakes I've ever had in my entire life. nom nom. We came back twice. I loved the pumpkin one and the owner was so nice she gave us a free cupcake! It's a really cute place to hangout too.
sdsdsd
matcha green tea~


sucky sucky~
AND HOME WE GO



Homemade Pizza

THE PIZZA WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. WE MADE IT TWICE.

L.A. ZOO


This was my very first "zoo" experience! I was soooooo excited. hehehe,
seals!
see you later gater~

I HAVE SPOTTED A WILD TRAV
we packed our own lunch hehehe
look at all of our condiments LOL
I FOUND A LEAFY THINGY
lol at girly flamingo walk

ducks ^___^
THIS HUGE BIRD WAS STANDING IN OUR PATH  I DON'T THINK IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE LOL
flamingo~
looking at flamingo through a telescopey~
We road on one of those tour trollies for awhile! My shoes looked soooo sparkly *___*


This is so funny because it reminded me of Terraria's harpy!
Which is probably where it was inspired from!



And then it turned it's head at me.. I ALMOST POOPED MY PANTIES
LOOK AT IT.

LOOK AT IT.


~*~*pro photographer stance~*~*~


I like taking pics of cute friends because it makes me jealous and makes me want to do cute things with my internet bestfran vi in the futureee~ ITS JUST SO CUTE. SOMEDAY. SOME DAY WE'LL MEET AGAIN.

THIS DARN MONKEY WOULDN'T TURN AROUND
I SAW MY VERY FIRST SQUIRELL HERE AT THE ZOO TOO!! I'll post a video about it soon hehehe.


These girrafes reminded me of that cute kissy game!
This one! [click]


look at me im in a bamboo forest wow hi so cool






im a cactus!!

a pretty tree~

boar poop
I saw a baby kangaroo for the first time and WAS VERY EXCITED! LOL.





komodo dragon~



SOUP AND BREAD NOM
There were all these cute pastries and sweets near the cashier heheh


IT LOOKED SO GOOOD *DROOL* LOOK AT THE CARAMELIZATION DAMN

imma pirate



I watched how he effortlessly pulled apart his bread and ate it with his soup .. so I tried to follow him but instead punched myself in the face pulling the bread towards myslef.. LOL . IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING AND HE SAW THE WHOLE THING AND JUST LAUGHED I WAS SO EMBARRASSED AND MY NOSE HURT OW OW >.< 


imma reindeer
imma duck
hurr hurr

blub blub


Sigh. This is sort of weird ending this Cali post this way because I originally planned to have a huge corny conclusion to wrap it up. But I guess I'll save that for part two! Long story short,  the time I spent in California was definitely one of the most exciting experiences I've ever had in my life. I've had so many firsts here, I can't even count them, and I am so thankful and happy that I got to spend all of these memories with someone special. <3 I'm so, so happy. <3


  Part two will have ~*~*~Disney Land~*~*~
pictures !


You can click the link below to view it<3

http://sugar-pet.blogspot.com/2013/05/hello-my-lovely-reader-this-will-be.html



Thank you for reading! Comments are appreciated!
If you leave your blog url I'll stop by and check you out+leave a comment! <3



ALSO! Don't be afraid to look at my "older posts" here on my blogspot!
I have outfit posts, reviews, and details about what products I'm using (like circlelens,lashes) +where I get my stuff!


Bye - bye loves!
<3









12 comments:

  1. wow.... very informative post.. how long did this take to edit? any way good job krizko. we will always be happy for you. goodluck to you and your man! Randall from Jtv!

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  2. Wow, it makes me feel like I need to fly over to California rightaway. I love those pastries and cupcakes! And those amazing homemade pizzas. Haha. Chloe from tumblr here! ((:

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  3. im so glad you are okay. please keep us update with ur health okay friend? the world needs you! you are beautiful and we cant afford to lose a person like you. congrats on ur relationship, u look happy. regards, a reader from france

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  4. Awwwwwwwww, You do deserve to be happy Krizko. It must've been scary to experience that health shock (whatever it may have been) but that experience helped appreciate what the worlds hiding - the hidden excitement. It really did shocked me at first when I saw your relationship between Ulyber fall apart because...well, you guys were so in love from being in a LDR. I actually first discovered you when you were asking him to Tumblr prom....it's so crazy how long ago that was. >_____< Seeing you back on your feet with a smile having a new boo in the picture is, eeek, relieving!! ^___^ Thank you so much for sharing your life with your internet family. You're a beautiful person, don't you ever forget that.

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  5. *tears* I am sooooooo jealous
















    you went to California, lol. I've never been... that looks so much fun. So how long have you two been in a relationship? -if you don't mind me asking- hhehe.

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  6. WOW! I can't believe that was so long! I read it all and very sad / informative at start, then got funny when it was picture time! a++++ WOULD READ AGAIN

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  7. a random reader from tumblr.. i dont know why i clicked your link, or why im even following you. its 3 in the morning and i cant sleep so i found myself here. im glad i clicked this and read your post because i was feeling really down and sad and reading this made almost made me cry because i can relate to the whole numb feeling and the suicide part got to me. now im stalking all of your old blogposts and pictures and videos, and the more i do the more i am starting to like you! is it odd that i feel close to you after stalking u this much? dont want to seem creepy so im anon sorry, have a good one, thanks.,

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  8. I've been following you since you and your ex met for the first time, I was a fan of your cute videos. Of course I was sad to notice there's no bunniesnboogers anymore but only unreasonable people would blame any of you. There's no point being miserable in a relationship just to put a smile on your partner's face. I'm glad to hear that you are all better now and happy. You are a very cheerful person and I'm sure that with this post you've inspired all the broken hearts to not be afraid of healing, after all that's what life goes on weather you like it or not so we better make it a happy place. :D
    California looks so fun! I really dream that one day I'll be visiting US.
    You deserve so much more than this! I'm waiting for the day you'll post about your own accessory boutique with that cake/coffee shop built-in ;)

    Greetings from eastern Europe <3

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  9. It feels like you just finished signing your papers to divorce haha and is now free.

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  10. Random64 from Jtv here. I just finished reading this; very informative. I remember seeing you cast from the room in the picture where you say you hung out a lot. And even though you couldn't talk much then, you did seem somewhat more genuinely happy and enthusiastic than many of your previous casts, which makes sense from both your excitement of seeing everything in California and the relief of knowing everything was okay after you got there that you described in your post. I can definitely relate to many of the things you talked about too; I get really nervous about certain things sometimes and my mood can change a lot. I'm glad your health scare was nothing more than that. I also understand your thoughts afterwards; I was in a serious accident when I was a lot younger when I was going through a time of sort of not caring whether or not I lived and just kind of started caring after it, though I'm not really sure what changed my mind... maybe the combination of good things happening afterwards and seeing how many people cared about me and also being more aware of how life can end suddenly. Also on this topic, I have been thinking about writing lyrics for a song that talks about the meaning of life and suicide, etc. and maybe this can give me some ideas for that. (I'm not feeling depressed or anything right now; I just had the idea to write something like this since an assignment in high school to write something with a surprise ending and I thought of making suicide be the surprise but of course the teacher wouldn't let me do that but now I can write it much better probably.) Speaking of writing, I really like all of your writing I've read... on here, tumblr, etc.... you seem to open up more than when you speak; I'm kind of the same way (as you might be able to tell from this comment). However, I still enjoy your live casts and hope you do more soon. But I've enjoyed your Youtube videos and posts like this in the meantime. I made accounts on Youtube and tumblr by the way and commented on a couple of your videos. Anyway, I'm happy you've found greater happiness and have someone special to share it with. Looking forward to part 2!

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  11. This is the cutest post I've ever read. It even made me super happy! ;3; I'm so happy you're happy!

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  12. KRIZKO, girl this was such an adorable post! I am so happy about your new relationship! My boyfriend & I are in a LDR too and he's from LA too! This cutsie post can TOTALLY relate to me. I remember the very first time I had to fly down to SoCal for the very first time and had to travel all by myself and I was such a nervous wreck because I was afraid I would end up in Zimbabwe! Haha, and my boyfriend took me to all of those places too! Ahhh! So much fun! I know what you mean about Cali roads and all the lights! I'm not from a city with such narrow lanes and FAST cars, so every time my boyfriend drives me around LA I kind of freak out a little! lol! BTW, you look SUPER HAPPY, I know the feeling! :D And that's great to just PURSUE your happiness. That's all I have set my goals on these days. So does that mean you will be traveling to Cali more often? Because the next time you visit your boyfriend you should definitely check out LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) and take adorable pictures together with the lights! Haha not sure if you know what I'm talking about, but you can always google it. :D The lights are a beauty! Oh yeah and The Simpsons ride at Universal Studios was my first ride there also! It was fun for a few minutes until that ride made me get all dizzy! Gosh this post just made me miss visiting my boyfriend and I loved every bit of this! Anyway this comment is getting pretty long sorry, I am just really happy I'm not alone! :D Can't wait to read part 2! DISNEYLAND!!!!!! You know he's a keeper when he takes you to Disneyland! :DD

    - hellomissa.blogspot.com

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